Single Parents' Support Community


A Single Dad Speaks

Anonymous

" I too am a product of a broken home. I, therefore, know first-hand the effect divorce has on children, and it hurt me that my own children would also experience that pain."

Let me begin by saying that the most important ingredient needed to be a successful single-father is "love." The love that I have for my children is the most intense feeling I’ve ever experienced and it grows daily. I have two kids, and I can see no further than my children. They are the one true force that drives me to better myself in life.

Becoming a single parent was a big adjustment, not only for myself, but for the kids as well. My ex-wife and I separated six years ago when my children were only eleven and eight years old, and my initial feeling was that of betrayal of my kids. What made it more difficult was the fact that I too am a product of a broken home. I, therefore, knew first-hand the effect divorce has on children, and it hurt me that my own children would also experience that pain.
A father should be a "rock." A strong and supportive figure in his children’s lives.

I also felt as if I had deserted my kids. My kids and I were, and still are, very close. My gut feeling was that I did the right thing in leaving, but I still felt very guilty. I promised my kids that I would never turn my back on them, and I never have.

Although my kids have since adjusted well to the split, in the beginning, there was a lot of pulling back and forth between their mom and me. But, I always knew in my heart that the love that I shared with my kids would overcome any negative thing said about me by their mother.

I make it a point to remain actively involved in every part of my children’s lives. I get such great joy in having my children around me! As a parent, I try to be a positive role model for them. This brings to mind an incident that occurred a few years ago. While driving my son and nephew to the ballpark, the boys were in the back seat discussing role models. My son asked his cousin who his role model was, and my nephew responded with the name of a professional athlete. When asked the same question, my son responded that his dad was his role model. That little statement continues to stick with me to this day. "My dad is my role model." No sweeter words could ever be spoken by a young son of his father!
"My dad is my role model!"

No sweeter words could ever be spoken by a young son of his father!

I do not see the role of single father as a burden, or as an especially difficult job. I see it as simply being a man. I have no respect for so-called "men" who desert their children. I view it as an act of cowardice to neglect a child. How can a man live with himself who denies his children? A father should be a "rock." A strong and supportive figure in his children’s lives.

When faced with the challenge of single fatherhood, first and foremost always be open with your kids. This will earn their trust and respect. You have the responsibility to teach your children the ways of life. I live for my children. They are first and foremost in my life. And when things get a little bumpy, and they will, remember that love conquers all!

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